In life there will be incidents that will happen which will impact our heart negatively to emotionally prepare ourselves through the hard times, like when we are journeying through a forest and know there is a river, so we must prepare a bridge to cross it. Therefore, we will never think that:
- We will never get reprimanded or criticized.
- We will never get bullied or pranked.
- We will never be made suppressed or uncomfortable by other people.
- We will never think that angerness will not appear in your heart (you will be too ahead of yourself
- By filling our mind, body and soul with loving kindness, (Prum wihan 4 gammatarn). Starting with doing no physical harm to anyone (sigln). This practice will also instigate kindness in someone who had no kindness.
- By not using aggressive language, but using a calm tone, learning to speak to people in different situations, and not speak of unuseful things that will hurt people or cause drama. Everyone is your friend, you love them, not destroy them.
- Smiling inside and outside for a happy spirit, no matter if people back stabbed you or compliment you, be indifferent. You are now free, the karma payback is over, they are not nice to you because they are suffering themselves from being the slave of their bad emotion, you don’t talk back to them, or practice solving problem with being bad back, because your aim is nirvana, peacefulness and happiness, not hell. You can practice by leaving out the after thoughts or comments after you see or hear anything negative. Something happened to you, instead of thinking ‘That is so bad…’ You have to watch out for this because you get carried away with words inside your head that turn into negative emotion. Therefore, keep your thoughts in boundary and try to win no one but your own heart.
These are the practices which conditions the soul to be kind and soft from the outside to inside. But you have to be diligent to those rules!
Don’t absorb other’s negativity by…
- Plugging into their problems and wrong doings, or judge them, because you will become them.
- You only see and hear what is happening but nobody’s home to react. Your ‘self’ is not inside the body. Unplug the feelings and senses away from your body. Therefore, these are just visions and sound that will fade soon, there is nothing inside you to react emotionally. There is no good or bad, there is no right or wrong, don’t judge other people, let nature take its course.
- When people are doing negative things to you, just think that they are doing it to your body (sungkarn), not ‘you.’
- Strip your value and other people’s value away. Stop being the centre of the problem. You are not so important that people cannot cheat you, lie to you, and their actions have little value to you anyway.
Respect the law of nature…….
- Make peace with the errors of life. All animals and things have uncertain fate, feelings and characters, and will not be with you forever. That Louis Vuitton scarf may be destroyed by the dry cleaners. Make peace with it. You can work hard for everything and it can be gone in a second. It is nature. There is nothing good or bad that happens to these things, whether they are living or non – living objects, they have their own life and fate outside you.
- Focus on and pace your breathing rhythm, remaining calm, this will help when things get heated.
- Think of death all the time.
- Anger is an uncomfortable emotion, love your soul and have the determination to cut it out as fast as you can!
- Use sti sambanchaya or self- awareness, know by yourself when you are angry, and stop it like a break in the car as soon as you know it.
- For consistent progress, don’t drink alcohol as it hinders control and self-awareness ability. You need to be able to be self aware of the situations that will instigate angerness out of you, you have to use the self awareness to stop the emotions from happening or getting loose from your mouth and body, in which you become an actor of your emotion.
- Try to look at yourself all the time, if you are angry; is it ugly? Does it make you a good person? If you are ashamed of this emotion and scared of yourself when you recall those angry times, just like a person who recalled their drunk shameful moments, be determined to completely disassociate yourself away from it altogether.
- If you have done nothing wrong to that person but you received bad treatment from them, then that means that you are just receiving the fruit of the bad karma that you have done to them in the past. Be happy that you have now paid off the debt to that person.
- The person who you don’t like the character of because he/she had been dealing with things differently in the ways that make you irritated, forgive them, because you cannot also act in the ways to please everybody.